The Nativist

What Does Authenticity Look Like?

In a world where we're expected to "keep it real" while "keeping up with the (insert entity here)," life gets complicated.

Vulnerability and authenticity are buzzwords, but what do they really mean? How do they manifest? We're  advised to be genuine - as long as it's socially acceptable. What does loving and being our true self really look like? Can our "true self" fluctuate? Does being real require full disclosure? Can we be authentic while still maintaining privacy and selective disclosure? What if we don't know who we are? Does authenticity have certain requirements?

Come with me as we explore these questions, as I offer my thoughts and personal experiences. 
Find me on Instagram @the_nativist

Toxic Venting vs. Healthy Venting

Are you a toxic venter or a healthy venter?

You may know how important feeling and processing your emotions are. Repressing them just allows them to metastasize and eventually explode in a bigger and uglier way. Venting can help you gain perspective and clarity, and assist you in moving forward and healing. Venting can be necessary. Leaving emotions/frustrations/anger bottled up can be toxic - but so can venting if we do it a certain way.

In this episode, I highlight specific signs of both toxic venting and healthy venting, and suggest different ways to release that pressure valve to leave you feeling lighter, happier, clearer, and freer.

 

Thank you for listening! You can find me on Facebook or on Instagram @the_nativist

Dare to Follow

Leadership is a sweetheart topic. We’re inundated with advice and resources and guidance on being an effective leader. We’re taught to seek to lead, not follow. We’re taught to value leading over following; to respect leaders more than followers. And while there’s merit and value in striving to aim high and lead (in whatever form that takes: in your own life, in a team, etc) there can be just as much merit and value in following (particularly in the discernment of knowing WHEN to follow versus WHEN to lead - that’s important).

We can’t all be leaders all of the time. What chaos that would be! And what a disservice to us, to our happiness, our development, our breadth and depth of life experience, our psyche, our friggin’ SANITY.

How can we be well-rounded, balanced, (physically and emotionally) healthy human beings if we only serve (or try to serve) in the same capacity? What a mess that’d be. And stunting for our growth (mental, physical, emotional, spiritual).

In this episode, I highlight the value of following, and its overlap with leading (leading can be following and following can be leading!). I emphasize the importance of deciding your own definition of success, and understanding others have theirs. I explain how we can lead by following - and the key that differentiates a strong follower from a mere sheep (this same key also makes you good leader). This episode may be short, but it’s still deep.

Thank you for listening!

Find me on Facebook or Instagram: @the_nativist

Lead Laugh Love: Different Ways to Lead from Where You Stand

Leadership. It’s often glorified and discussed, often regarding a formal role, position, or status. How reductive and limiting. 

No matter what organization you’re part of, or group you belong to, or title you have/lack - YOU are and can be a leader - at the very least, the leader of your own dang life. 

In this episode, I highlight various ways we can lead from where we stand, no matter who we are or what we do (some will likely surprise you). I outline subtle and overt ways we can directly/indirectly influence those around us and the world at large.

I suggest ways to empower yourself and take control of your life, to live it on your own terms. 

We’re all leaders. This isn’t saying we all deserve trophies and can phone it in. No, it really is about the different ways we can each lead - from where we individually stand. It’s about trying, doing your best, reclaiming your power, taking responsibility and owning your life.

Lead on. 

 

Find me on Facebook and Instagram (@the_nativist)

Less Sweet More Heart

Do you equate being sweet with being a good person? Do you ever say yes when you want to say no? Do you ever strategically place exclamation points to appear nice and upbeat? Do you ever say you'd love to make plans when you really wouldn't? Do you ever feel like you give give give while others take? Do you find yourself feeling resentful, or passive aggressive?

In this episode I talk about how sweetness can be misleading and even damaging, particularly when it stems from fear and anxiety rather than authenticity and values.

I discuss how it can be problematic and limiting. I offer guidance on living more authentically and kindly without being aggressive or sacrificing yourself to sweetness. This will nurture respect and deepen connections, in relation to yourself and others.

Find me on Instagram @the_nativist

Go Connect Win

We’ve heard it before: changing the world starts within, with us individually.

In this episode, I talk about how connecting first to ourselves, and then to others:

• heightens our happiness and sense of meaning and fulfillment

• strengthens our relationships

• nurtures our understanding of self and others

• lengthens our lives (it’s science, baby)

• clears the layers blocking connection to others

• lessens divides

• facilitates solutions

• informs choices

• improves, you know…EVERYTHING

I offer questions to ask yourself to gauge how connected you are to yourself. I give guidance on how to [further] connect to yourself, so you can show up authentically, as well as suggestions on how to connect to others. I get personal about times I’ve felt disconnected and how that’s impacted my life and relationship.

So instead of go fight win, the new slogan is GO CONNECT WIN.

Find me on Instagram @the_nativist

Love you all.

The D Word

In this solo episode, I talk divorce in its broadest sense. Not just the dissolution of a marriage, but the “conscious uncoupling” (great term, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin!) from anything that no longer serves you: one-sided friendships, toxic habits, regressive thought patterns, unhealthy practices, stagnant jobs, outgrown partnerships, etc.

I suggest helpful questions to ask yourself to effectively approach and navigate the situation, and to help determine if a divorce is needed (again, divorce in the broadest sense).

I offer angles to consider and solid steps you can take (including a specific activity you can do) to [re]claim your power, promote your healing, and serve the highest good.

Find me on Instagram @the_nativist

Indigenous Voices Series Part 2

In this second part of my Indigenous Voices series, I spotlight Sequoia Dance-Leighton, an enrolled member of the Shoshone-Bannock tribes, a descendant of the Assiniboine Red Bottom clan, and a resident of the Nimiipuu (Nez Perce) land. With a bachelor's degree in human development and a master's degree in social and cultural pedagogy, she is now pursuing a PhD in cultural studies and social thought in education. 

It's a longer episode than most, simply because it was such a fun, easy, stimulating conversation and I didn't want to stop! This conversation is packed with subtle yet profound life truths.

Sequoia describes how being of mixed descent impacts how she perceives and how she feels perceived, all while she works to fuse those two worlds. She shares her story of connecting with her native heritage and cultural identity. She outlines her approach to balancing: ancient wisdom with newer perspectives; older generations with younger cohorts; professional ambition with self care; and social activism with personal boundaries.

Sequoia tells us about working with the youth and striving to amplify voices that are usually silenced. She gives tips on avoiding micro aggressions and complacency. She explains settler colonialism, and offers a fresh take on viewing the earth and those who call it home. We emphasize the enduring wisdom of indigenous people, and the importance of seeking it out, no matter your ethnicity or location.

This may seem like a niche episode, but its relevance and applications are anything but. If you enjoy it half as much as I did, you'll really dig it. 

You can find Sequoia on:

• Instagram: @therealrezwife
• Twitter: @SequoiaDance
• TikTok: @realrezwife

Resources mentioned in the show:

• native-land.ca : to find native land on which you live
• Chelsey Luger: a trainer/facilitator for the Native Wellness Institute, and the cofounder and editor of Well for Culture. 

Indigenous Voices Series Part 1: Appropriation vs. Appreciation

In a world of worthy causes, the indigenous voice is often drowned out. This series aims to illuminate it.

If you're interested at all in being a more informed and respectful human, this is a goldmine.

Elise Blaser returns to share with us her indigenous perspective from a cultural, historical, and personal standpoint. She tells us about growing up in both Canada and the US while having both native and Caucasian blood.

She outlines common disparities and misconceptions surrounding indigenous culture and people, and ways in which we could unwittingly be disrespecting those cultures (some may surprise you!). She highlights her favorite cultural aspects, and how non-natives can partake without disrespecting.

We distinguishbetween appreciation and appropriation, citing concrete guidelines and frequently asked questions (like if it's okay to wear moccasins or smudge).

Rather than preachy and critical, this conversation is lighthearted yet deep, educational yet engaging, and fun yet reverent. And critically important.

You can find Elise on Instagram @eliselilaa

The Depths of Despair

Despair. I sure as hell have felt it (I don’t say that glibly - I mean it). Chances are you’ve also felt it (to whatever degree). If you haven’t (yet), you likely know someone who has/is feeling it. 

It’s part of the human experience, so let’s respect it, and let’s talk about it: for ourselves and for others.

If you’re seeking a message of hope, this is for Y O U.

In this episode, I open up and tell you my relationship with despair, and how despair has shown up in my life. I also offer a tried-and-true, CONCRETE action you can take when feeling lost/frustrated/hopeless/defeated/untethered - or just “off.” Works [for me] every.single.time.

I identify why I started The Nativist, and how that relates to you.

Thank you for showing up and doing what it takes - for yourself, and for those around us. 

You can find me on Instagram @the_nativist or on my Facebook page