The Nativist

Discrimination Series Part 3: Respect

In this third installment of my series on discrimination, I sit down with one of my best amigas, Cheli Brubaker.

I’ve always admired Cheli’s openness and acceptance of others. To know her is to adore her. Cheli is a first-generation American of West Indian descent, as her parents migrated here from the Caribbean. Cheli shares her experience living in predominantly white communities (particularly sheltered, conservative communities) as a youth and as part of a biracial couple.

Though she and I know each other well, I was intrigued to hear her views on race relations. She and I discuss using labels, taking accountability, commanding respect, reciprocating support, and reserving judgment.

It’s a thought provoker.

 

You can find Cheli on Instagram @chelitb 

Discrimination Series Part 2: Listening and Learning with Akilah Lacey

In the second episode exploring discrimination, I talk with Akilah Lacey, a police officer who offers a unique and valuable perspective on his experiences and outlook on discrimination as a law enforcement officer and member of a biracial marriage in a predominantly white, conservative community.

Akilah describes what it was like transitioning from Watts to Orange County to Pocatello, Idaho, and how he bridges the gap while straddling two worlds in this current charged climate. We discuss the importance of awareness, perspective, open mindedness, communication, and empathy. We highlight the importance of listening to learn and understand, and the necessity of taking accountability for our actions.

Find Akilah on Instagram: @thatlaceylife

Discrimination Series Part 1: Waking Up

Discrimination exists. We may disagree on how/where/when/why discrimination manifests, but people for the most part acknowledge it’s there (and they sure as hell should). Many are recently awakening to how deep and prevalent it is.

It is not enough to be non-discriminatory. We must be anti-discriminatory.

I for one know I could step it up. Yes, I’m acutely aware - and have been for essentially my whole life - of pervasive and persistent racism and discrimination. Yes, I continually research and educate myself on the topic. Seek perspectives. Self reflect and ask myself hard questions. Consider the micro and macro pictures/factors. Express outrage and disgust when talking to others. But if I’m honest with myself…that’s the bare minimum. I can - and will - do more. This is me trying to pull my weight.

It’s not enough to be privately anti-racist/sexist/etc. Clearly, that hasn’t moved the needle enough. We must be publicly and actively so. If you’re unsure of how to go about that, you’re in the right place. Come with me as we dive into this, by asking questions, considering views, sharing resources, and assessing possibilities. Follow along on this account/my blog/podcast. Human power. ✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿

Self Love

This is another episode per request. Though it’s a topic that’s often discussed…it’s still just as relevant and necessary.

And let’s be straight: Self love isn’t always about massages and candlelit baths. Sometimes it’s about tough love. Digging in and doing shadow work. Calling yourself on your bullshit. Identifying and eliminating your toxic habits. As with everything in life, balance is crucial and boundaries aren’t just to apply to other people. They’re not just interpersonal - they should be intrapersonal as well.

I talk about how self love looks like:

• Recognizing and releasing toxicity - yours and others’

• Connecting to yourself

• Honoring your basic needs: emotional, physical, mental

• Communicating directly and authentically, and letting others do the same (without overanalyzing and assuming people hate you/are mad at you)

• Apologizing only for things within your control

• Setting boundaries

• Asking for what you want/need

• Daring to say yes, and daring to say no

• Feeling and navigating your emotions

• Releasing what you can’t control, and prioritizing what you can

• Treating yourself and others with grace and kindness

I hope you find value in this. And I hope you love yourself. Because I sure as hell do.

Politics Schmolitics

Per request, this episode dives into politics. 

I have a degree in political science and international relations, with a minor in psychology, so this is definitely an area of interest. I discuss the roles of politics and tribalism in our lives, how certain leaders can be so powerful, how to educate yourself on issues effectively and responsibly, why international relations affect our daily lives, why Americans should stay sympathetic and humble, and why open-mindedness is essential. Plus...a whole lot of other stuff. I keep it clean, I keep it neutral...but hopefully, I also keep it thought provoking.

McCool Story, Bro

My latest guest is one [mc]cool cat. Tyler and I talk about creating, living, loving, and evolving.

I first met Tyler McCool a few years ago while shooting a wedding with my sister in gorgeous upstate New York: he a videographer, I a photographer. We’ve stayed connected through Instagram since then, and Tyler’s account is one of my faves. He’s a fellow creative who knows how to have a good time. His talent runs wide and deep - just like our conversation. He provokes thoughts and he provokes laughs: with his art, his poetry, his funny responses to my Insta stories…

 

You can find Tyler online (www.mccoolmedia.media) or Instagram (@mccooltyler)

A Beautiful Life with Lacey Frost

In this gorgeous episode, I talk to my stunning amiga Lacey Frost.

Lacey sparkles from the inside out and is like pure sunshine for the soul. She reminds me of a Disney princess: show-stopping beauty with a heart of gold.

Lacey bravely shares how she maintains an elevated perspective throughout her continuing fertility journey, and what life lessons she’s learned along the way.

She also tells us how she helps others find beauty through her success as a makeup artist and Maskcara representative. She is exceptional at seeing and acknowledging beauty in others.

She’s a true inspiration.

You can find Lacey on Instagram @lacefrost (she does fabulous makeup tutorials)!

Do Your Best and Forget the Rest

Who do you call when anxiety levels are rising and people are feeling more uneasy than ever? Even the Ghostbusters would tell you to call the Social Ninjas!

Though my two guests, Kyle and Jeremy, typically focus on social anxiety, this episode applies to all types of anxiety, and let’s be real - life in general!

If you’re seeking something to ground you and help you reframe your current situation…this is it. This is for YOU.

You can listen to The Social Ninjas Podcast on all podcast platforms and follow them on Instagram @the_social_ninjas

You can find Kyle on Instagram @social_anxiety_kyle and Jeremy @jeremytalkstostrangers

Straight Talk

In this episode, I sit down with my Greek goddess friend, Christina Purcell. Christina is a fellow creative who does photography and raises two beautiful children - much of the time alone, while her husband is off playing professional football.

We cover the bases with this conversation, talking about everything from motherhood to business to LIFE. Christina also shares her experience as an NFL wife, with all the uncertainty, juggling, and shuffling that brings (let’s just say - much respect!).

Christina is a straight talker with a huge heart, and you’ll see why I adore her.

Releasing Judgment

This year, I again had the honor of speaking at The Women’s Networking Group monthly gathering, founded by my good friend (and previous pod guest) Brianne Sloan.

Last time, I spoke on boundaries (you can listen on episode 8 posted 02/03/2019). This time, I spoke on releasing judgment.

What a relevant topic, huh? One that applies to ALL of us. Truly. Whether we’re judging or being judged - it’s our reality. This episode isn’t about shaming yourself/others for judging, nor is it about eliminating judgment entirely. Let’s be kind to ourselves, and let’s be real with ourselves. My objective with this episode is to explain why judgment happens, and to offer different ways of viewing yourself and others - all to inspire understanding, compassion, and acceptance. Only by understanding judgment can we transcend it and reclaim our power from it.